The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

Last fall two episodes were shared delineating ideas for a timeless capsule wardrobe for traveling about in Paris as well as in London and the English countryside. As promised, the series continues into winter, and while we are nearing the end of winter, with the Paris fall/winter collections about ready to take the runway sharing their 2020 trends and inspirations, I thought this would be the perfect time to share how Parisians dress in the chillest months of the year.

Of course the uber style stars who will share their street style at the end of February as they make their way to and from the shows, and while I highly recommend taking a look at what they are wearing as even though they may be out of reach budget-wise and offer strong signature style that is hard or less likely to be imulated and simply admired, the color combinations, layers, and fabric choices are worth noting most certainly.

Today, let's return to Paris and take a look at the necessities for a timeless winter wardrobe whether you are making a trip for business or pleasure.

First of all, what is the weather likely to be during winter in Paris? Paris Perfect explains that the average temperature during the months of December, January and February is 42 degrees Fahrenheit, so about 6 degrees Celsius. With a 50% chance of cloudy and/or rainy weather on any given day, be prepared for moisture, and likely not snow (although on occasion snow does fall, but it doesn't last for more than a day or two - typically).

Depending upon where you call home when you aren't visiting Paris, 42 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter may feel chilly, not-so-bad or perhaps even warm for winter months. Whilst keeping all of that in mind, let's take a look at the list of essentials for your capsule wardrobe.

1.Classic, well-constructed cashmere or wool sweaters

Since you are in Paris, you will likely be inside most of the time, but walking from place to place. Keeping this in mind, fine cashmere sweaters would be the best as you can layer them for more warmth, but also not become over-heated while inside at your desired destination.

2. Dark denim

Dark colors in general will never be a bad idea in Paris during the winter. From dark denim jeans to dark pants, dark shoes and dark outerwear, the benefit of knowing this and having such items on hand is that you can easily mix and match and then add the pop of color as you feel necessary.

3. Black jeans

4. Waterproof leather booties (ankle boot)

5. Leather sneakers

6. A Warm Winter Coat - Puff, Pea Coat or something similar - long preferred

The air is damp, so when the wind blows or the temperatures drop, it feels colder than it may actually be. A long coat will keep your entire body warm while you wait in line to go to a museum or venture outside to stroll from one destination to another.

~Be sure to check out Mango for beautiful coats at great price points.

7. A Wool Blazer

For days in which it is not as chilly, but still the air has a nip, wear an oversized wool blazer with a scarf.

  • Theory is a brand I highly recommend and enjoy wearing myself

~photo credit: Style du Monde

8. Lovely warm, scarves

From classic oblong scarves to large stoles which can be used as a blanket on the plane while traveling, pack one or two favorite scarves that will work with what you have and provide the warmth you seek.

  • Eric Bompard (shop these boutiquest while you are in Paris!) make lovely cashmere scarves. In fact, I picked up my first one in 2013 and have been wearing it ever since each winter.

9. A Warm Wool Hat

Leave the beret at home and pack a warm wool or cashmere hat that covers your head and ears. Black, navy, ivory or anything neutral so you can wear it with anything you have packed.

10. Leather, yet cashmere lined, gloves

11. Turtleneck

Yes, an additional sweater, but turtlenecks are lovely in their retro chic silhouettes. Whether fitted or oversized, choose a luxurious fabric that feels good on your skin, a high neck that hugs your chin and a color that works well with your wardrobe, all while perhaps adding a touch of pop or a subtle unique shade of something fabulous.

12. Cardigan

Granted a cardigan is a sweater as shared in #1 being a must-have while traveling around Paris, but a cardigan is a casual choice to have for the flight, for snuggling in either in the morning or evening upon returning from being out and about, and well, just a lovely winter staple to have on hand (and a necessary one in Paris during the winter).

13. A travel umbrella

Likely, your accommodations will have an umbrella for you to use, but having a packable umbrella with you wherever in the world you might travel is never a bad idea. As shared at the top of the post/episode, the liklihood that it will rain in Paris is 50/50, so it's best to be prepared as you won't want to wear a coat with a hood unless you want to stick out as a tourist, unless the coat looks something like this.

14. Shop for what you need while in Paris - pourquoi pas?!

In January, the semi-annual French Les Soldes takes place in which every shop will be having sales on everything, not just the items they cannot sell. Take advantage of this opportunity and shop for what you need while you are there, but also what will live and be loved for many years to come wherever you call home.

15. Totes and handbags

This recommendation will be the same as it was for Autumn - a crossbody bag for going about the city and a tote for travel days. Poléne's full and mini crossbody bags are ones I recently learned about and now have and absolutely would recommend.

Whether your favorite time to visit Paris is the spring, summer or fall or winter, whenever the opportunity arises to escape to the City of Light, it will be hard to say no. Knowing you will be well-packed will ensure you feel confident and comfortable as you walk and explore and savor along with the Parisians themselves with no one being the wiser that you are a tourist unless you let it be known. Most certainly, your sartorial choices will not give you away.

Stay tuned as I will continue this series for the spring and summer months as the year unfolds and Anglophiles, rest assured, a winter shopping list will be shared soon.

View All Other Seasons & Their Timeless Wardrobe Essentials for Visiting France

SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES from the Archives You Might Enjoy:


Traveling Alone Well, episode #220



Petit Plaisir

~My French Country Home magazine

~created and edited by Sharon Santoni of My French Country Home blog and travels

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Images: Click through on each image to be taken to the direct source

Direct download: 277ParisWinter.mp3
Category:French-inspired -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

Mise en place in translation means is "set in place", often translated to "everything in its place".

Perhaps part of the reason cooking and baking can feel rewarding as well as relaxing is that there is a science to, and the unofficial science is something even the most novice cook in the kitchen can quickly learn - mise en place. But what exactly is it and what is the art of a truly effective mise en place? That is what today's post/episode is all about.

When I attended both Patricia Wells and Susan Hermann Loomis' cooking classes in France, mise en place was de rigeur. Each day upon arrival into their respective kitchens and to our assigned cooking stations, the food was already either prepared and arranged in the necessary bowls, or at the very least the ingredients were waiting to be prepared along with the necessary bowls. As well, the recipe was clearly typed and propped up and ready to go to ensure ease of preparation.

~fresh ingredients from the market for a Niçoise Salad made in Susan Hermann Loomis' kitchen in Louviers, Normandy~

~Patricia Wells at her stove in Provence, Vaison-la-Romaine~

~Patricia Wells' stove in Provence; notice the collection of small dishes on the shelves, along with her cookbooks~

~Patricia Wells' stove, knives and measuring spoons on the right in multiple quantities; on the lift, cooking tools to be used at the stove~

~Susan Hermann Loomis in her kitchen in Louviers preparing food for the day of cooking. Notice the recipes situated at each station, along with the necessary ingredients.~

~Susan Hermann's stovetop~

As you will see in some of the images included in today's post, I was in awe and absolutely inspired by the organization in both kitchens. From Patricia Wells having multiple ceramic canisters complete with a label for multiple spatulas, peelers, and any other tool she would need to have her students use, to Susan Hermann's knives neatly and safely stored in the middle of her wooden kitchen island, every kitchen tool had a home, and all of the items we would need or that were regularly used were easy to find and thoughtfully placed where they would be the most handy to grab while cooking.

While mise en place often brings our attention to the recipe or meal we are cooking at the moment and the ingredients that are needed, in a larger context, mise en place is your kitchen, how you arrange it, how you work within it well, and the tools you welcome into your artistic space - your batterie de cuisine.

I have found my kitchen, especially my kitchen in my rental in which I lived for four years, to be indeed an artist's sanctuary of sorts because you are creating, you are exploring. Part of why I loved that kitchen so much (the kitchen you see in Seasons 1 & 2 of my cooking show) is due to how I felt completely at ease moving about it in, having enough space for everything I needed and everything being easy to locate and quickly so.

I am currently in the process of curating my new kitchen into a similar space so that I feel absolutely comfortable moving from here to there and finding exactly what I need. I look forward to making progress on it this spring if all goes well, and fingers crossed, hopefully have it ready to go for Season 3. But in the meantime, I am keeping in mind how a kitchen must be organized, how it needs to function for the cook that calls it home, that is the foundation of mise en place, and now let's talk about the benefits and how to create your very own successful mise en place each time you step into your own kitchen.

Benefits

1.Ensures you are prepared for the recipe you wish to enjoy

2. Saves time

3. Saves the food

4. Deepens enjoyment of the cooking experience

~The creative stand of hooks for mixing paddles, Susan Hermann's kitchen~

How to "Mise en Place"

1.Determine what type of mise en place you need

In theory, you will eventually come to a point where you tend to mise en place each time, but each recipe or meal or dish will be approached in its unique way. If it is a dish you enjoy frequently, such as a go-to breakfast, your mise en place will be a default you don't even think about any more.

In such a case, my steel oats is in a cannister by the stove with the 1/4 cup measuring spoon that I use inside, the chia seeds are in a cannister that I simply pour out of, also by the stovetop, the salt and butter on the other side of the stove, and voila, aside from the cream, when I include it, it remains in the fridge until it is needed.

Mise en place can be as simple as having your go-to items at the ready at all times, but it can also be for the detailed recipe in which case all of the ingredients are pre-measured and placed in their own separate dishes and bowls.

2. Read the entire recipe, twice.

Not only do you want to read the ingredients list, but be sure to read the instructions as well, and why I recommend twice is often I will read too quickly the first time and accidentially skip over something.

But even if you are a close reader on the first read-through, reading twice confirms the order you will need the ingredients as well as how they should be prepared - sliced, diced, left whole, etc..

Back to the ingredients: do you have what you need? enough of what you need? Double check.

If preparing your mise en place ahead of time, either the morning of or the day or two before, begin making a list of what you need to pick up at the market (and how much).

~fresh artichokes from Louviers' market and eggs as well~

3. Find the necessary dishes, bowls, containers.

As you become fluent in your kitchen, knowing which dishes you enjoy preparing and eating and sharing, you will with time begin to have the necessary dishes, bowls and containers you need. Along the way to building your batterie de cuisine (literally: kitchen artillery; otherwise known as kitchenware), use dishes that work well for what you need. They may not all look neat and properly sized, but they will work.

~Susan Hermann's collection of copper pans~

4. Find the necessary kitchen tools you will need and have them at-the-ready

Along with having the ingredients you need, locating and having at-the-ready the necessary tools will speed up the process and increase your enjoyment of the cooking process. Beginning with a sharpened knife, and the proper knife for what you are doing, having each of these tools ready to work for you is an often unstated, but vital part of an effective mise en place.

In Patricia Wells' kitchen in Provence, each utensil is given its own cannister and labeled.

5. Prepare the food as needed

From peeling, slicing, de-veining and cleaning the seafood or meat, tend to the food, so that as the recipe calls for each ingredient, all you have to do is quickly add it to the pan or bowl or grill or, you get the idea. :)

~mise en place at Patricia Wells' cooking class~

6. Place the food/ingredients in order of use in the recipe.

Depending upon whether you are left or right-handed, place the ingredients on the preferred side and in the order they will be added to the recipe. If items will not be used for some time, you can place them further away so they won't be knocked over or accidentially added, etc. .

7. Have a large bowl for discards and items to be taken to the compost or garbage.

Rachael Ray creatively called hers the "thanks for coming" bowl, and having such an item as part of your mise en place is a simple way of keeping your kitchen clean, or at least cleaner, as you make your way through your meal preparation. A large bowl enables there to be more workable space so you can swiftly move from one task to another without having to constantly clean up along the way.

8. Refrain from multi-tasking

As tempting as it may be, doing more than the task of cooking while you are preparing a meal increases the chances of overcooking, burning and therefore ruining the ingredients you have thoughtfully welcomed into your kitchen. Speaking from experience, even when I just cook my breakfast in the morning, when I go off to my office while the steel oats are cooking, there have been time when I have become so engrossed in what I was doing for work that I lost track of time. Respect the food, and give it your full attention until the cooking is complete.

Ideas to Improve Mise en Place

  1. Keep a well-stocked épicerie at all times
    • Listen to episode #109 for a detailed list of the 34 items to have and why, or pick up my 2nd book, and read through Chapter 12.
  2. Begin to gradually pick up small bowls and dishes that catch your eye at second-hand shops, yard sales and antique boutiques, even brocantes if you have the opportunity to travel to France. Not only is it fun to treasure hunt, but they will add your signature to your kitchen.
  3. Assess what tools you need in your kitchen and invest in quality items.
  4. Equally, upon assessment, begin to edit/remove tools you do not need to provide more space for those items you do, making them easier to find.
  5. Set up your kitchen so that it works for you

I feel fortunate to have had the opportunities I had in attending both of the cooking classes with Patricia Wells and Susan Hermann Loomis over the past two summers in France. I continue to welcome their ideas and incorporate them into my daily cooking practice.

The primary purpose for mise en place is to make your time in the kitchen successful. Impressively, the number of dishes and the multi-course meals each class would enjoy every single time we sat down to dine for a couple of hours at first glance would have seen impossible, but when it is broken down into clear steps, ingredients and amounts prepped and ready, it seems all but impossible.

Hopefully you too will find even more pleasure when you step into your kitchen. I certainly have an even deeper appreciation as well as fondness for the time I spend cooking and preparing and of course, enjoying the meals that are created.

Have a look at videos from both of my cooking class experiences as well as the detailed posts that accompany each one below.

~cups and saucers in Susan Hermann's kitchen found over the years throughout France at Brocantes~

~ingredients for a fresh strawberry dessert at Susan Hermann's first day of cooking~




Check out The Simply Luxurious Kitchen and see Mise en Place at work in my very own kitchen!


Petit Plaisir

~Agatha Raisin, Acorn TV

https://youtu.be/tCM4vc3FbV8

~10 Ways to Enjoy Grocery Shopping

~How to Make the Most of Your Visit to the Farmer's Market No Matter Where You Live

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Direct download: 276MiseenPlace.mp3
Category:cooking -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

"Emotional freedom is a homecoming to your own heart and fullest power. It salutes authenticity, not conforming to someone else's notion of what to feel or how to be." —Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate yourself from negative emotions and transform your life (2009)

The middle of the night, before you can fall asleep or early morning thoughts that swirl and fuel agitation, worry and fear preventing you from falling asleep.

The feeling of being lonely and falling prey to the purport by society that the simple solution is to find someone to be romantically involved with.

Ratcheted chronic anxiety that cements you from pursuing something new or chasing your dreams or simply enjoying your everyday life.

An assumed negative default in perspective when it comes to the world, the future, especially your future and what is actually possible no matter what your age.

In sharing each of these scenarios, maybe you most strongly identified with one, or maybe none of them spoke to you, but moments of one or two rear their heads in your life when your energy is depleted or life temporarily becomes exhausting. And hopefully, maybe you recognize your former self in one or more of these and now are able to celebrate having broken free of the counterproductive emotional patterns that were learned and accepted as "how life will be".

Wherever you find yourself on the continuum of learning the skills of attaining emotional freedom, after reading/listening to today's post/episode you will have a clear path forward for identifying with the latter description in the previous paragraph.

I picked up Dr. Judith Orloff's book because I needed to read it. I knew the skills I needed to improve the quality of my emotional life were lacking, but I did not know what they were or, if I had a sense of them, how to strengthen them.

Dr. Judith Orloff defines emotional freedom as increasing your ability to love by cultivating positive emotions and being able to compassionately witness and transform negative ones, whether they're yours or another's.

Choosing to become emotionally free is entirely the choice of the individual. Whether healthy emotional patterns were modeled by your parents or not, you can learn them, apply them and shift how you engage with the world, how you experience the world and thus how you move forward and elevate the quality of your life experience.

Have a look at the benefits of setting yourself free emotionally:

BENEFITS of acquiring the the skill of EMOTIONAL FREEDOM

  • liberation from fear
  • navigate adversity without going on the attack, losing your cool, or being derailed by it
  • choose to respond constructively rather than reliquishing your command of the situation whenever your buttons get pushed
  • communicate more successfully and gain more confidence in yourself and empathy for others
  • no longer feel disconnected or lonely
  • feel more comfortable in your own skin
  • be part of nuturing relationships
  • discover more contentment
  • become more flexible with life
  • own the moment no matter whom or what you are facing
  • "be more fiercely alive"
  • liberation from the compulsive tyranny of negative emotions such as worry and anger so you can choose more joy

Now to do the homework, the steady and consistent exercises to welcoming the emotional freedom you seek into your everyday life. Today I would like to share with you 34 tips, practices, ideas and insights that spoke to me and what I thought would speak to TSLL readers/podcast listeners. However, there is far more detail in Dr. Orloff's book, Emotional Freedom, which I highly recommend reading and keeping as a resource to return to as you incorporate and habituate the new practices that can improve the quality of your everyday life and cultivate more joy.

1.Discover your emotional patterns: Know thyself

What emotional type do you most define yourself as? The Intellectual, the Empath, the Rock, the Gusher (chapter 4 details each of these emotional patterns, shares the tendencies, strengths, drawbacks AND most importantly, how to strike a balance to welcome the good and let go of the unhelpful emotional patterns)

2. Take charge of who you want to be

Begin by understanding how you were nurtured as a child and as you grew into an adult and even into your adult years regarding how you were raised by your parents and continue to interact with them. There were most likely strengths and weaknesses. Dr. Orloff suggests observing each with an objective perspective for the purpose of gaining self-knowledge of what have become positive and as well as unproductive ways of emotionally engaging with the world. Once you have done this (this is for you and has no need to be shared with your parents), move forward consciously. "Consciousness [is] the path to freedom". Acquiring self-knowledge will lift the fog as she describes it and show you the way to clear blue skies of clearly, concretely knowing what you want to change and why.

3. Seek calm and eliminate stress

One enhances your overall health, (yes, your physical health too) and the other depletes and destructs it. No doubt you know immediately which does what. Here are a few simple ways to welcome more calm practices into your everyday routine: experience and partake in laughter, exercise, meditate (breathing is powerful), "anything that makes you feel loved".

4. Resist negativity and turn toward and amplify the positive

Becoming emotional free is a choice made by each of us, so it requires that we act and thereby think differently. Actions include what and how we speak. The words we utter and the tone in which we utter those words matter immensely and absolutely. We have control over these two qualities of speech. Orloff explains how words contain energy, and we are transferring that energy when we speak, and how when we say something sincerely positive or kind, the good energy given is accepted and received with love or, if spoken without sincerity, disbelieved and hurt is felt. Again, the reception is determined by the tone in which the words are delivered.

"Words impart energy that can be enlivening or malignant. This is true whether you direct words to yourself or others."

5. Pay attention to your physical reaction around others.

To determine if the people you either choose to be around or have to be around, or are newly introduced to will bring positive energy into your life, observe your physical response to them. Having to do with how someone speaks to you, when they do, observe, Dr. Orloff's suggests, your physical reaction with your body instead of how your brain processes the actual words. Let your physical responses guide you to help you determine who to continue to spend time around and who to walk away from. E.g. The charmer who says the sweetest compliments with a smile but causes your body to physically cringe, yep, that may be a sign that negative energy is coming your way. Walking away may just be the best idea.

6. Use breathing practices to calm/quiet a hyperactive mind.

If you discover you identify your emotional pattern to be the Intellect, your mind is busy. It is busy planning, learning, inquiring, planning some more and trying to figure out how to get it all done. However, when this happens before we can figure out how to fall asleep or need to fall back asleep, it is defined as a hyperactive mind and it is not emotionally helpful. Simply breathe. Get out of your head.

7. Exercise

Regularly, aerobically, but also with strengthening and flexibility activities. Exercising requires you to be present; it helps you get out of your head and focus on what you are doing.

8. Engage with others first with empathy and secondly with your head.

9. How to handle an unwanted situation: Think first.

Think all of the details through first, once, and well. In so doing, you are making sure you do not react which would be your emotions taking over and potentially throwing you into a "fizzy" state. How do you think first?

  • use positive self-talk and logic to become grounded
  • take deep breaths. Do not take on the emotions of others. "You can still be loving and now feel the emotions they are emoting."

10. Allow regular quiet time for emotional decompression (for the Empaths especially) throughout the day.

11. Honor your empathetic needs.

  • Reminder: "No" is enough.
  • Learn what your max socializing time is, and honor it without apology.
  • I love this one: if you need to take a separate car so you can return when you are emotionally ready to leave, take your own car. Do not feel guilty for needing this. Similarly, if you need your own space when visiting family on the holidays or when traveling, honor you need by reserving a nearby Airbnb or reserving your own room.

12. Engage with life

If you have been hurt or if you see yourself as the Rock on the emotional type list, engaging with life will intially be uncomfortable or foreign. However, keep in mind what Brené Brown teaches, vulnerability is needed in order to sincerely connect, but as shared in episode #126, do not forget to partner it with setting healthy boundaries (which plays into #11 - honoring your needs).

13. Simple daily task: express one feeling a day in your journal

Why? To acknowledge honestly how you are feeling and when you are ready, to examine the why. Triggers or prompts. When we partake in this daily practice, we become more knowledgeable of ourselves, but also improve how to better communicate how we feel and why. Even better, we begin to see that emotions are temporary, and that is helpful to keep in mind as well.

14. Are you a gusher? Before seeking advice or support, follow these steps to gain more emotional freedom.

  • center your feelings by defining the upset - what prompted you to feel as you do.
  • answer the question: How does this make me feel?
  • work with your feelings: clear the emotion, exhale the negativity, use positive self talk, tune into your intuition to find the solution

15. Extricate emotional vampires from your life

Sharing a list of the different types of emotional vampires, it was helpful to see their characteristics, and I will admit, I saw my older self in some of the descriptors. Just as important as it is to sweep out the emotional vampires from our lives, we also do not want to be one to others. Evaluating each of the lists is a good practice.

Back to the extrication of E.V.s. It entails clear and calm communication as well as setting boundaries. Once you recognize how they make you physically feel (returning to #5), find your voice, set your boundaries and walk away to seek other nurturing individuals to spend time with.

16. Set limits.

It is important to repeat what has already been mentioned twice thus far - set boundaries. Episode #126 shares in detail how to do this and why it is imperative to your emotional well-being.

17. Be solution-oriented.

Previously here on TSLL and on the podcast it has been shared that complaining about something you dislike or someone you dislike is only a positive contribution to our lives and the lives of others if we are also accompanying the 'complaint' with a sincere solution. Otherwise, let it go and move forward.

18. Understand that fear is a form of stress, and then move beyond your fears

Dr. Orloff explains in biological detail the body's physical response to fear, and it is not good for our health (page 149-152). If you are someone who catastrophizing the future, expects the worst in situations, has fearful thoughts that keep you up at night, are afraid to speak up or go for what you want, then you are letting fear play a significant and consequently harmful role in your overall life. In other words, you are welcoming more stress into your life that need not be present.

Move beyond your fears not by avoiding them but rather by "facing them in a proactive way".

"Courage requires the presence of adversity. In fact, no fear, no courage. WIthout something to overcome, there's no biological push to be brave or conquer negativity, true evolutionary milestones."

  • avoid people who reinforce your fear
  • avoid violent media - news, arguments or other scenarios that cause you stress
  • immersing yourself in hot water (a bath) will help relax muscular tension quickly
  • practice your breathing.

19. Seek out and remain close to "emotional nurturers"

20. Identify the fears you'd like to be free from and identify their triggers.

To return to #1, self-knowledge is the fundamental component. We gain clarity when we investigate ourselves and our reasons for feeling the emotions that arise, seemingly out of our control. When we can identify the trigger, we can then successfully change it or eliminate it altogether.

21. "We attract what we are"

"A basic law of emotional energy is that we attract who we are. Fear attracts fear. Courage attracts courage. If you want positivity coming at you, you've got to generate it . . . This influences which people and events keep appearing in your life."

22. Stay optimistic despite fear

Regardless of what goes on in your life, wanted or unwanted, be mindful of your response. In other words, do not react. Take a breathe or take a beat before speaking or taking action. When a fear arises that you won't be able to accomplish what you have set before you to achieve, focus on even the smallest victories - you are still trying, you still care. When you make a habit of positive mindful response, eventually it becomes a track in the mind and when it becomes a track, it then has become your default to not be thwarted by fear but to courageously face fear in a proactive way.

23. Continue to grow into self-awareness

Each of us is continuing to change, as we are dynamic creatures whether we want to be or not. In actuality, it is a good characteristic to be dynamic because it means you have an opportunity to grow. As we are continually growing, should we choose to, that means we have to continue to be aware of ourselves - our needs, emotional responses, etc. and not become complacent. In other words, as the book shares, our life truly is our career. It takes effort, but such effort pays many positive dividends.

24. Overcome frustration with patience

One of the biggest roadblocks to emotional freedom is frustration.

~Discover the benefits of patience.

"Making a more deliberate choice to delay instant gratification and cultivate patience will help you achieve emotional freedom, have faith in yourself and your destiny."

25. Let friendships and romances develop slowly

Why? In order to cultivate trust or determine if someone is trustworthy.

26. Find and welcome nurturing sources into your daily life

Nurturing sources need not only be people. Nurturing sources exist within and outside of ourselves. Anything that provides a sense of home is a nurturing source.

27. Foster positive human contact or community

When you engage with others whether at work, your personal life, in your neighborhood, online, choose to make it a positive exchange.

28. Learn the power and skill of meditating.

~I break it all down for you here in a 2014 post Why Not . . . Meditate?

29. Practice gratitude

Something that I have enjoyed sharing each month is my "What Made Me Smile" post, and I look forward to adding to this list as the month unfolds, then sharing a handful here on TSLL. However you practice gratitude, maybe in a daily journal, through prayer, by sending thank you notes, any action that asks of you to reflect and see all that is going well, make this a regular practice, and it will begin to shift your focus (remember #21). We attract what we are, and if we are grateful, we will begin to see even more for which to be grateful.

30. Listen to your intuition.

But first understand what intuition is and what it is not (read this post). Once you can accurately define what your intuition is, then you have a powerful skill in your arsenal to enable you to elevate your everyday life due to the choices you will make.

31. Redefine the traditional paradigm for coupling.

Communicate what energetic preferences and boundaries you need in a relationship so that you are not emotionally engulfed. From how you live together, to how much time you spend together, to sleeping arrangements, if you are an Empath as described in the Emotional Types list, you may deeply want a relationship but fear, based on past experience, that you will not be safe due to all of the energy and emotion of others you absorb. Due to this you have either acquiesced and let yourself become engulfed or spoken up ineffectively (or with a partner that was not right for you) and been berated for being difficult or cold. Neither are true, and effectively communicating and more importantly being with a person who is open to understanding you, is the key to being part of a healthy, nurturing relationship.

32. Take time for solitude regularly

"Solving lonliness involves connecting to yourself as well as others. That's why it's vital to find your own right rhythm of worldly involvement and solitude."

33. Acknolwedge and celebrate current healthy connections

As mentioned in #26, not all healthy connections will involve other humans. From Mother Nature - hiking, gardening, simply being outside; to spending time with animals; to luxuriating in your thoughtfully curated home, these and many more are healthy connections. Invest in them, savor them and do not let others dismiss the value they hold in your life to feel connected and whole.

34. Strengthen the relationship you have with yourself - it's the most important one you will ever have

In other words, invest in understanding how to welcome emotional freedom into your life. It will take time, it will make you uncomfortable for a short duration, but that is the way with change, it is uncomfortable because it is stretching us.

In our personal life toolbox, as shared in detail in Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making your everydays extraordinary and becoming your best self, it is filled with both strengths and skills. Strengths are innate and when we choose to strengthen these talents, we share with the world a unique gift only we can offer. Skills are tools any one of us can learn and apply to our lives to elevate the overall quality. Emotional Intelligence is discussed in detail in my book, which is why today I wanted to talk even more in-depth about why Emotional Freedom is a skill of great benefit.

Personally, upon reading Dr. Judith Orloff's book I had many aha moments, validation moments and clarity-of-how-to-proceed moments, and as it happens on many occasions here on the blog and the podcast, I wanted to share what I learned in hopes that you too will find great value for this skill in your life as you continue to grow and create an everyday that truly delights you.


Petit Plaisir

~Monty Don's American Gardens, BBC2

Direct download: 275EmotionalFreedom.mp3
Category:lifestyle -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

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