The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style (general)

Whether or not snow has fallen come December, the warmth and cheer of good tidings appearing about town, the neighbors, in the shops and arriving in the mail by way of the annual Christmas cards sent from friends and family living near and far always wraps me in a figurative hug.

This year, similar to last year, I will be spending Christmas at home in Bend, Oregon, and it is exactly where I want to be. And leading up to the festive day has been and will continue to be sprinkled with intentional activities, pastimes and nibbles that create a festive, cozy atmosphere I feel most fortunate to be able to savor.

Each of us will go through seasons in our lives, stepping out of old chapters and into new ones when we embrace our courage to welcome what is awaiting to be given to us, and such is the case for me that I am delighting in quiet Christmases.

As Nigel Slater eloquently writes in The Christmas Chronicles, in his delicious, image evoking prose, "Christmas is celebrated by Christians and non-Christians alike. It is a cultural event as much as a religious one". I share the rest of the quote in last year's holiday episode - #347 if you want to have a look, but part of why Christmas and the entirety of November and December is treasured by so many is that it is celebrated around the world and it is celebrated by people of a variety of different beliefs or non-beliefs, and that is a reason to smile and appreciate the season all the more.

Perhaps inspired a bit by Beth Kempton's beloved book that I know many TSLL readers have enjoyed and return to reading each November and December, and adding to the list shared last year, episode #347, that included 9 Ways to Savor Christmas at Home, Alone, Simply Luxuriously, I wanted to share today's episode of how to savor a quiet Christmas with as few or as many people as you desire, and reveal how these thoughtful ways to enjoy this special time of year, while not extravagant, complex or even requiring money, can bring a deep richness to the season, making it all the more special.

Let's take a look at the list.

Visit the Show Notes: 

https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast371

Direct download: 371QuietChristmas.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

 

"The best day in your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. It is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." —Anonymous

We wake up each day, often in our own bed, in the home that is ours whether directly or indirectly, and our mind too begins to wake up as well. The wheels turn by habit, and it is the habits we have cultivated that determine how we perceive the world, its possibilities, therefore our possibilities, the possibilities that the day will bring. Not expectations, mind you, which are different and actually distinctly subtly ruinous as when we have expectations, we close our minds off to any other possibilities that may delight, enliven, and deepen the beauty of the day. To awake each day and to hold our minds open to what could be, rather than narrowly focusing on what must or should be, our lives begin to change in the most amazing and beautifully wonderful ways.

So how do we give ourselves the best chance to make today the best day of our lives? Well, it all begins with each of us, as we have the leading role in our story that is our life journey.

Today I would like to share with you 7 ways you can give the best chance to making this the best day of your life.

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #340

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate:  iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify | Amazon Music

Direct download: 340BestDay.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

 

Today on the podcast, the creators of the new book Artists in Residence join me to talk about not only their collaboration, but also how readers can find inspiration to look at their own sanctuaries as a haven, decorating it in such a way as to nurture presence and the unique creativity each inhabitant would like to share with the world.

Melissa Wyse is the writer and through her research, so many details largely unknown to the wider public are shared about each of the 17 artists' residences and their life stories. Kate Lewis brings to vivid imagery each of the intimate spaces with her illustrations. yYou will find yourself looking at all of the detail, going back and forth between the written word and the painted peek to gain a sense of how the artist lived. Not only a book to feast upon with the eyes, but inspire you to honor your own gifts, find time to explore and share them and motivate others to do the same just as Kate and Melissa have done.

Visit the full Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life — thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast304

Direct download: 304ArtistsinResidence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

Today's episode is a favorite of listeners from the third season of the show. As we all spending more time inside, I thought listeners may enjoy some inspiration for making their time in our slower schedule more enjoyable and comforting.

Click here for the full transcript and detailed show notes.

SUBSCRIBE to the Podcast on your favorite podcast listening platform:

~Subscribe to The Simple SophisticateiTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

Look for a new episode of The Simple Sophisticate to return on Monday May 18th. View the full Season 6 Schedule below.

Direct download: 148hygge.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:56pm PDT

"Parisian women . . . want above all to become the best possible version of themselves, outside and in, at any age."

—Anne Berest, Audry Diwan, Caroline de Maigret and Sophie Mas, How to be Parisian Wherever You Are

Each time I have finished reading a beauty book that offers advice I welcome into my regular routine, I think there will be no need to read another book. But the truth is, as we know, as we grow older, so too does are skin; consequently, our need to understand how to best take care of the skin at the age we are become necessary.

Since the publication of Ageless Beauty: The French Way by Clémence von Mueffling, TSLL readers continued to recommend it, and it wasn't until this summer that I purchased it and read it in one afternoon and evening. I highly recommend it if you are looking for specific beauty product recommendations for your skin at every stage of aging - jeunesse (20-35) to maturité (55-older).

Sharing not only specific beauty routine ideas but also offering detailed explanations so that readers can understand why they are doing what they are doing to justify the investment, the book will be a resource I return to in the future as well when I begin to step from plénitude, as she describes 35-55.

But beauty when it comes to products for skincare and makeup are not all that is covered. She writes about food, exercise and carriage, as well as hair and perfume.

Today, what I'd like to share with you are 22 beauty secrets that caught my attention and that I either have found to be high advantageous or are new ideas I am now incorporating into my routine. Let's get started.

~Be sure to tune into the audio version of this episode as much more detail is shared than what is shared below.

1.Regularly and properly hydrate your skin

A skin's quality determines the aesthetic beauty of one's exterior appearance. "Well-hydrated skin that is dewy and glowing optimally reflects light in a flattering way that makes it look almost like silk."

2. Attention to one's skin must be a regular routine to see the difference you are seeking

"One of the most important components of any French woman's beauty routine is just that — it's routine."

—Clémence von Mueffling

3. Attend to proper posture

4. Adopt a cleansing routine that properly cleans and cares for your skin

Mueffling advocates for washing your face twice (the first time to rid your face of impurities, pollution and makeup - preferrably with a creamy product; the second, to clean the topmost layer which "optimizes the skin's natural protection and regeneration which primarily takes place while you're sleeping"). And while I have only been washing my face once each time I wash my face - in the morning and evening, I have now begun to wash my face twice in the evening as she has suggested.

However, as she reminds, the goal is not squeaky, clean skin as that would be counter to what the desired goal is. Rather, it is about cleansing and caring for our skin so that the serums, oils and moisturizes we then apply will be able to properly penetrate enabling the investment we have made in these products to work as they are intended.

Depending upon your skin type, she delineates the different types of cleansers to consider in chapter 2: milk cleanser, foaming cleanser, cleansing gel, cleansing oil, micellar water and toner.

~NOTE 8/16/2019: In the audio version, I incorrectly pronounced "micellar". The "c" should be pronounced softly, like an "s" in "cell", not a hard c as in "crunch". Thank you for the gentle constructive feedback from listeners.

~read about micellar water and why I added this beauty essential to my cleansing routine a couple of years ago and continue to love it.

5. Apply a toner after cleansing with a cotton ball.

What is the purpose of a toner? As she shares, toners have received a bad rap for being "unnecessarily or overly harsh". Case in point, for the past 10 years, I haven't used one, but did during my 20s. She explains that toners when made properly as the more modern, natural toners are that are available, "use plant essences to deliver targeted ingredients deep into the skin". The reason for using a toner after cleansing and before you apply your serums and moisturizers is to make sure that what follows will be absorbed effectively.

~I recently began using Clarins Camomile toner per her recommendation and find it be soothing, as well as affordable.

6. Make sure your skin is pat dry after cleansing and toning and before applying any serums or moisturizers

7. Start early and be consistent

"French women know that the earlier you start a comprehensive skincare regimen, the more youthful your skin will remain."

8. Find a quality hydrating moisturizer as it is essential to your skincare routine

I finally found a moisturizer that works well, especially in the arid climate that I live in - La Mer. However, she recommends many moisturizers at varying price points, some below and some above what La Mer is priced.

9. Apply any oils or serums on BEFORE applying your moisturizers

I have read conflicting commentary on which should come first, but I am trusting Clémence on this one. Whether you apply a serum or an oil after your toner, apply it after your toner and before your moisturizers (face and eyes). Why? For the same reason the toner and the second cleansing is used to ensure that the moisturizers can properly penetrate and do their intended job.

10. Consider welcoming a humidifier into your home

Living in an arid climate, for some reason it took me four years to follow this sage recommendation. However, if you live in a tropical or humid climate, there is no need as the moisture that the humidifier provides is already done naturally in the environment in which you live.

Why a humidifier? Remember, the goal is to regularly and adequately hydrate your skin, and especially during your sleep, by keeping your skin hydrated you enable the products to not have to be asked to do more than they are capable of, but your body retains more moisture offering that healthy glow you are looking for.

~1st recommendation (what I use in my home) Honeywell Germ-Free Humidifier (the previous link a model no longer found, this new model is its equivalent and comes highly recommended - Honeywell Cool Moisture Humidifier)

~2nd recommendation Pure Enrichment Mistair humidifier

11. Apply a spritz of thermal spring water

After finishing your evening beauty cleansing and moisturizing routine, spritz a bit of thermal spring water on your face. As well, after cleansing in the morning, apply for a a bit more hydrating and extra dewy glow. Blot off gently after letting it sit on your skin for about one minute.

~I am not using after her recommendation Avène's Thermal Spring Water, and based on the size of the bottle, I will have it for some time.

12. Find and use a hydrating and healing lip balm

It has taken me a long time to find a lip balm that does just these two things, and it was found after reading this book. Bioderma's lip balm stick will cost you $4.90 at the most and is soothing and exactly what I was looking for. Apply throughout the day and especially just before going to bed.

13. High SPFs are a good idea, let me explain AND consider reducing your time in the sun even when you are wearing sunscreen

Perhaps you have heard it as well when you share with others that you are wearing SPF 50 or higher, "beyond [insert number], the SPF doesn't matter". First all, that is incorrect, and second of all, it's absolutely incorrect! Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest. Mueffling explains that SPF is a measure of a sunscreen's ability to prevent UVB from damaging the skin and can be used to approximately how many minutes you can remain in the sun without burning. So yes, wearing SPF 60 as I do, especially on your face, it will save you money and time.

But let's back-up what is the difference between UVA (which sunscreens do not protect against) and UVB (which sunscreens do protect against). Understanding the difference has motivated me to stay out of the sun as much as possible during the highest and most direct sun exposure times of the day. UVA (the long waves responsible for aging) are the most harmful because they can cause "the most injury to our cells' they are able to reach inside cells and damage the genetic code, impacting the cells' ability to produce good-quality collagen, hyaluronic acid, and the other proteins needed for proper functioning". UVB rays (the short waves responsible for burning, redness, pigmentation and the superficial damage that occurs immediately after sun exposure) can be protected against with sunscreen (when applied regularly).

So, consider limiting your sun exposure and consider increasing the SPF.

14. Help your skin out while you are traveling, especially on the plane, and refrain from drinking alcohol while in flight

15. Avoid spritzing your face while traveling (plane) as it actually will dry your skin out even more

16. Moisturize your hands regularly

Hand creams to try:

17. Add a facial massage to your weekly beauty routine

Something that you can do at home, she provides three basic techniques for massaging your face with a moisturizer you already use. As our facial muscles need to not be contracted all of the time, so when we give them a massage we are asking them to relax. A facial massage will help your facial muscles retain elasticity and remain firm.

18. Visit a facialist regularly

Depending upon your age, von Mueffling recommends jeunesse receive a professional facial every season (every three months), plénitude every two months and maturité every month.

By visiting a reputable esthetician you can keep your skin in its best shape, combat problems that may arise quickly and accurately without doing more damage and improve the quality of your everyday skincare routine.

19. Eat skin-friendly foods

Sharing a long list of best foods to eat, at the core of such a food regimen is eating food that is sufficient in healthy fats, low in caffeine and very spicy foods, regularly include citrus and offering diversity and brilliant colors.

~Why Not . . . Feed Your Body Well?

20. Your Décolleté Needs Extra Care and Attention

From cleansing to moisturizing, remember to not only tend to your face and neck but the area between and just above your breasts.

21. Exercise Regularly and Well

~Why Not . . . Get and Stay in Shape?

22. Prioritize Quality Sleep

~Why Not . . . Get A Good Night's Sleep?

~Ageless Beauty the French Way: Secrets from three generations of French beauty editors by Clémence von Mueffling


~SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY:


Petit Plaisir:

~Le Mystère Henri Pick (2019)

https://youtu.be/kbyBzbTYw5s


TSLL’s 4th Annual French Week posts thus far . . .

SUNDAY August 11th

MONDAY August 12th

TUESDAY August 13th

WEDNESDAY August 14th

Direct download: 258FrenchBeauty_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

"This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook - try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun." - from Julia Child's memoir My Life in France

During the month of July, The Simple Sophisticate podcast will be airing top episodes from the archives. Why, you might be wondering, as this is the first summer I've taken July off? Don't worry, I am hard at work in the kitchen, exploring new ideas for recipes and producing the second season of The Simply Luxurious Kitchen. Premiering on Saturday September 7th, be sure to tune in the cooking show when it returns this fall.

In the meantime, today's listeners' favorite episode from the archives shared six life lessons from Julia Child. The original episode aired in 2017, and as I have just returned from France, I thought paying homage yet again to the woman who continues to inspire me and so many listeners and readers would be a good idea.

To view the original and updated Show Notes for the episode, click here.

Thank you for tuning in, and be sure to stop by the blog each Monday when there is not a new episode of the podcast as there will always be a new Monday Motivational post to kick off the work week.

~MORE Julia Child Posts/Episodes YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~Lunch with Julia Child at La Couronne

~Decor Inspiration: Julia Child's Provençal Home

~Celebrating Julia Child on Her Birthday: And the Many Books New & Loved

~Subscribe to The Simple SophisticateiTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

~TSLL's image captured during time spent in Rouen, France, at La Couronne, the restaurant that she credits for beginning her love for French food. View the entire post on my experience here.  

Direct download: 155TopJulia.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm PDT

"San Francisco is one of the great cultural plateaus of the world — one of the really urbane communities in the United States — one of the truly cosmopolitan places and for many, many years, it always has had a warm welcome for human beings from all over the world."—Duke Ellington

In 2002 I began my career in teaching - my first job was teaching 9th grade English in a small town at the bottom of South Lake Tahoe in northern Nevada. And on occasion, maybe two or three, I believe it was two, times I made the four hour drive to San Francisco for long weekends. I found a small boutique hotel near Union Square, walked and drove the hills (becoming more proficient with a clutch than ever before) giving my calves an exquisite workout, enjoyed a delicious brunch at the Empress Hotel with my mentor who showed a bit more of the city to me on a long holiday weekend, as well as drinks at the Top of the Mark, but each of my visits was well before Google Maps and the entire tech sector engulfed Silicon Valley and the city by the Bay, so I wasn't sure really where to go and just visited as far as my feet and my comfort would take me.

Fast forward sixteen years, and I finally had the opportunity to return to San Francisco.

Since before moving to Bend, it has been on my list of places to visit. After all, it is in many ways the West Coast's New York City. Understandably, each city is uniquely its own, but having visited Los Angeles, Seattle and many times Portland, Oregon, San Francisco isn't quite like any other west coast urban destination. In fact, I have to agree with Cecil Beaton,"San Francisco is perhaps the most European of all American cities". Now, New Orleans certainly is a destination unique infused with French and Spanish cuisine and history, but San Francisco involves more ease and community than any other major urban city I have visited, sports the most delectable food options, offers transportation that is varied and easier than any other American city I have traveled, as well as a temperate climate that is never too extreme in any season. Again this is my opinion, but perhaps Twiggy is right, "I’m just mad for San Francisco. It is like London and Paris stacked on top of each other".

But I am getting ahead of myself gushing about San Francisco. I'd like to share with you all that we experienced in a mere 72 hours this past week, offer up some recommendations, and perhaps encourage you to either visit or return to the Paris of the West (an old term used primarily in the late nineteenth early 20th century largely because of the three waves of French immigrants arriving in San Francisco beginning in 1849 with the Gold Rush, in 1852-53 when Louis-Napoleon Bonaparte III offering a national lottery of trips to California to rid the country of his intellectual opponents, and a third wave of many women and children as in San Francisco's early days, the city was comprised of 90% men. In short order, in 1852, six thousand of the city's 36,000 residents were French).  No wonder I love this city so much. :)

I've organized today's episode/post into the three fundamental parts for any trip to any country/city to be most successful. Thinking of it as the tripod foundation of traveling with ease: knowing how to get around to wherever you want to go (transportation), knowing you have a comfortable and safe place to sleep at night, and knowing you will be fed to satisfy your appetite. Where to eat, sleep and get about.

Once these three decisions are made, reserved and settled, I am able to loosen up on the itinerary and also relax and look forward to my trip.

Let's begin the 72-hour visit to San Francisco. The good news is you don't have to make your plans too far in advance to still have a wonderful experience. Case in point, for our trip last week, the trip was decided upon in April. Plane tickets and hotel arrangements were made, and then one month prior to the trip, dinner reservations were made as well. The only piece of the three part puzzle was to tend to the on-the-ground transportation, which I had researched, and will talk about more below.

~Fisherman's Wharf - classic fishermen’s boats docked in the bay.~

When to visit:

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."
—Mark Twain

Depending upon the weather you hope to experience, as one of our Uber drivers who has lived in the city for decades shared with us, don't come in June, July and August and expect traditional summer temperatures. Nope. While there is the rare extremely warm day as there was a couple of weeks ago, the average high in the summer is low 70s - expect the fog to roll in and out throughout the day and if you're by the bay, the wind will rip through in the afternoon.

If you are looking for the idyllic weather, our driver, after sharing Twain's quote above, suggested coming in September and October. I quickly took note. The rain will abate in April and not truly return until November. Again, taking the advice of the driver, so readers who live in the Bay Area or who have lived in the area, please do confirm or correct.

Also, we traveled during the work week. The opportunity to arrive on a Tuesday and return on a Thursday was perfect for the pace of everyday life. Nothing was too extremely tourist-laden (there was still an abundance), the evenings were very quiet on the street as we had a street-side window, and traffic at the airport and getting about was as would be expected in any work day scenario - rush-hour, etc.

Whenever you visit, bring layers. One day we both were kissed by the sunshine more than we expected, but in the evening we needed a jacket. My mother packed her light-weight cashmere scarf, which was perfect. I saw many people with scarves. What did I forget, of all things? A scarf. I won't forget again. It is a city in which to wear a scarf.

How to Get Around Once You Arrive

  • BART - from the SFO airport, the Bay Area Rapid Transit is a very affordable and dependable way to reach the city. We took BART into the city with our luggage with great ease. It was helpful that the line basically begins at the airport, so you have a pick of where to sit and can get situated with your luggage before you get into the heart of the city at which time the train became very full (morning rush hour). The cost was $2.50/person versus a $45+ cab or Uber fare.

~waiting for the airport shuttle to take us to the BART airport stop~
  • Trolley/Cable Car - $2.75/adult; $1.35/senior - There are only three lines that the Trolley/Cable Cars travel, but they are easy to find on a transportation map. We relied primarily on the trolley throughout our trip. You pay in cash or can purchase a pass online. The fare is good for two hours if you buy a single pass. Each of the many cars we rode on were exceptionally clean, and the drivers very helpful.

  • Bus — We happened to ride a bus one evening as it was serving the same line as the trolley car we had arrived on. The transportation map makes it easy to see where to get on and where they stop, and the pass you use for the trolley/cable cars works the same way.
  • Uber/Lyft versus Taxis - We chose to use Ubers the entire time we were in the city when a trolley wouldn't get us where we needed to go and it was too far to walk, but we also wanted to make to our destination quickly (across the Bay Bridge, to the Golden Gate Bridge and to the Richmond neighborhood). I prefer to take Uber/Lyft because I know what my fare will be upfront. Taking six Uber rides during our trip, we were in a car in fewer than 10 minutes, the cars were clean, the drivers friendly if we chose to talk with them, and we arrived swiftly at our destination).

Where to Stay

While my list won't be long in this section, what I can share with you is where we did stay during our trip and why I highly recommend it. I know it will not fit everyone's budget nor be what everyone would prefer, but if you are looking for the following, you will be very happy with The Argonaut Hotel on Fisherman's Wharf:

  • Located in North Beach along the Fisherman's Wharf - ideally located for easy access to common sites: Fisherman's Wharf, Ghirardelli Square, a primary Trolley Line that will take you throughout the city, Ferry Building (via Trolley ride), Lombard street, and Little Italy.
  • Comfort - the beds are plush, the rooms are large, and you can reserve a room that will look out onto Fisherman's Wharf
  • Located in a historic building
  • The only hotel on Fisherman's Wharf
  • Quiet - granted, we stayed during a weeknight, but I could not tell we were staying in a city. No tall buildings surrounded us, we woke up to seagulls and even seals saying hello along the bay, and the street doesn't have many cars use it as it isn't a through street to anything of importance to locals or even tourists as the parking lots are set off the shore.
  • Impeccable service - we arrived early - 8:30 am, and while we didn't expect our room to be ready, they found one that was, even gave us a free upgrade and situated us before we went out exploring. If the room hadn't been ready, they would have stored our luggage.

~Fisherman's Wharf seen directly out our hotel room window.~

~wallpaper in the bathroom~

 

Where to Eat

As one Uber driver who has lived in the city for 22 years told us, San Francisco has always had a strong food culture. Boasting 5000 restaurants, whatever type of cuisine you prefer, you will be able to find it. While he couldn't guarantee it would be delicious fare at every destination, he did note that you can find many wonderful places throughout the city and Bay Area. So let me share with you four places I HIGHLY recommend.

  • Tartine - If you are looking for French bakery buttery goodness, visit Tartine Bakery (the original bakery that opened about 15 years ago) and/or Tartine Manufactory (sit down for breakfast and lunch). The two locations are about 10 short blocks away from each other.

         

  • Pearl 6101 Restaurant - Having been opened for about a year, this Richmond neighborhood located restaurant opens at 8 am for breakfast and lunch (closing 1t 2pm), and opens for dinner at 5pm, running until 10 pm. They have brunch on Sundays.

~the scrambled egg plate and avocado toast~

  • Boulettes Larder + Bouli Bar - Located in the Ferry Building on the far right corner next to Sur la Table, this two-part restaurant offers scrumptious seasonal and locally sourced meals. Boulettes Larder is the light and bright restaurant space that is open for lunch and breakfast (dinners are only reserved for special group occasions, as I learned later).  BouliBar (where we dined) is where they serve lunch and dinner, and the pizza as well as other items on the menu will please your palette immensely. My slow baked King Salmon set atop a bed of millet and vegetables dressed in sparkling vinaigrette was mouth-watering delicious. Paired with a glass of rosé - yum.

~the dining room for Boullettes Larder (open to the public for breakfast and lunch; private group dinners in the evening)~

~Bouli Bar (open for lunch and dinners for the public)~

~Pistachio Cake with strawberry ice cream~

  • Chez Panisse - Yep, Alice Waters' famed restaurant in Berkley. A dream of a experience, of which I will share in detail on Wednesday of this week, so do stop by. Reservations are taken only one month in advance on the day you wish you dine, but one month prior. Call on that day, when hours of operation begin. Every night a different menu. Every menu is seasonal and sourced locally. You can keep your menu. I had mine signed by the waiter. That is how awesome and, perhaps in admiration I am, of this restaurant. It exceeded my expectations. Stop by Wednesday to find out exactly why.

~the entrance to Chez Panisse in Berkeley~

~the menus - guests can keep them~

~dessert: Savarin cake with fresh summer berries and candied pistachios~

Now it's time to tailor it what you love

Each one of us who visits San Francisco will come to the city for different and special reason. As I shared in last Friday's weekly newsletter with subscribers, my visit was all about the food in preparation for The Simply Luxurious Kitchen's upcoming second season. And the city did not disappoint. However, there were a few other places we took the time to see and experience, and I'd like to share them below in case you too might be curious to check them out.

  • Beautiful views of The Golden Gate Bridge - visit Baker's Beach

  • Consignment Clothing, designer options galore at reasonable prices - Goodbyes (two shops) on Sacramento.

  • The Ferry Building - farmers market Tuesday and Thursday beginning at 10 am (small); Saturday at 10 am (large)
    • All of the shops inside the building are opened each day (this is also where Bouletttes Larder + BouliBar is located
    • Frog's Hollow Bakery is scrumptious as well and located next to Boulettes Larder
    • So many delicious food-inspired businesses inside.

  • Ghirardelli's Square — Of course, you will find the Ghirardelli's Chocolate shops inside this square, but there are also many other shops, boutiques and restaurants. The view of the bay is lovely, and the park in front, as it is situated next to The Argonaut, was some place I enjoyed just sitting and relaxing after a long day of exploring.

~Ghirardelli's Square in the background, park in the foreground~

With the 72 hour trip nearing an end, we decided to hop in an Uber to take us to the airport as we didn't want to lug our luggage onto BART amongst the crowds, although, it wouldn't have been impossible to do, we were just tired. In a swift 30 minute time period, leaving from our hotel, we were at the airport ready to return to Bend.

While I knew we had soaked up every minute of our trip seeing and exploring and eating, we also were able to take a nap each day which for me was absolutely necessary. But even with the naps, I slept deeply and quite more at length this past weekend than I have in awhile. What a pleasure this trip was, and I am thankful it is only a 90 minute flight away. Needless to say, with even more recommendations from readers, and places I look forward to visiting again, I look forward to returning.

"Leaving San Francisco is like saying goodbye to an old sweetheart.  You want to linger as long as possible." —Walter Kronkite

Be sure to stop by the blog later in the week for a detailed post on Chez Panisse.

 

~None of this trip was sponsored and all was entirely planned according to my own curiosities and predilections. However, there are some affiliate links. 

~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~Traveling Alone Well, episode #220

~A Traveler or a Tourist? The Difference

~French Trip Travel Musings (Why Not . . . Make the Effort?), Part Une, episode #215

~French Trip Travel Musings, Part Deux, episode #216

~Where to Stay in France While Traveling: A Variety of Luxurious Options

Petit Plaisir:

~Late Night

~Written and Co-Produced by Mindy Kaling, starring Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling, John Lithgow, Reid Scott (VEEP)

~Support women in Hollywood to promote multi-dimensional, diversity in age, ethnicity, life-experience and the varied representation of women that inspires women and young girls to be the hero of their own lives and others, not the playmate in someone else's story. Learn more about the statistics of women in Hollywood. While the numbers are gradually improving, they is progress to be made, and when we go see films that support what we truly applaud and wish to see more of, producers and film executives follow where the money is.

 

https://youtu.be/XE7OVnets4g

 

~All images via TSLL, any image with Shannon in them were taken by my mother (thank you Mom!)

Direct download: 256SanFran.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:34pm PDT

"Across the world, despite all prejudices and beliefs against it, singlehood is the growing trend." —Elyakim Kislev , author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living

It is highly beneficial to understand the construction of our beliefs regarding singledom, so that after discarding the myths and acknowledging the realities, we can "freely choose whatever lifestyle fits [us] best".

With the life expectancy in most developed countries rising to just under 80 years, it is a statistical probability that all of us will be living single or solo at some point in our lives whether by choice or circumstances, and consequently, knowing how to enjoy being single is a skill that would be most beneficial to acquire.

Depending upon our innate temperaments, which is different than our personalities, each of us is more predisposed to be comfortable or prefer more or less social engagement. And depending upon what we most enjoy doing in our careers and in our free time, we will be more or less inclined to seek out companionship for long or short durations.

Elyakim Kislev's new book, which was released in February, includes extensive research and an abundance of studies that demonstrate the reality of our modern world that no matter what you prefer, will enable each of us to live more consciously and thus more fully, as well as support others in our lives who choose to live in a manner we may not prefer or choose.

The first powerful finding that spoke to me was the acknowledgement of an unspoken truth regarding marriage (these studies involves a large majority of the industrialized world, not just the United States) - why do people step more easily into marriage even with modernizations of the world we live in today.

Studies have actually proven that the 51% of individuals entering into marriage acknowledge that it is "a fear of aging alone or dying without anyone at our bedside that drives us into marriage".

"Marriage may not be such a good way to escape loneliness in old age. Not only do married people feel lonely in surprisingly high numbers, but also long-term singles are often better equipped to deal with loneliness later in life".

Yes, that does then mean 49% of people did not report this as a reason, but that alone should give us pause, especially when we know that the divorce rate is nearly as proportionate and the percentage of a second divorce is higher still. While each couple's situation is uniquely alone, to not address this fear is to place an undeserved burden on individual we are marrying. In fact, studies have proven, when we do address this fear, as those who have never married do, earlier in our lives, the individual is more likely to make the best decision for themselves and thus improve their overall happiness no matter what the decision may be.

Many TSLL readers/listeners know I am single and have been for the majority of my life. Don't worry, this is not a post/episode advocating for being single if you are either already in a happy marriage, happy relationship or wish to be coupled. Rather today's posting will hopefully broaden our understanding of the realities of societal norms, motivations, pressures, expectations, unconscious biases and realities so that whatever your life's journey is and will be, it is one made with a clear mind that has discarded the myths and is then able to make the best decisions for you and the life you wish to lead. True contentment, in other words, is the goal of today's posting.

26 Ways to Ensure Happy Singledom

~Each of these points are discussed in detail in the audio version of this podcast episode. I encourage you to tune in for further clarification of each point or pick up the book Happy Singlehood from which each of these points were inspired.

1.Assess honestly your self-perception of how you define loneliness and where that definition was constucted.

2. Build and continually nurture a strong social well-being

Having a strong social well-being helps eradicate or reduce social loneliness and emotional loneliness as you will have people in your life in which you feel close to and may turn to (emotional), as well as have both intimate and peripheral acquaintances that give you a sense of belonging (social).

~Listen to Episode #92 - Elements of a Strong Social Well-Being - for further discussion on the construction.

3. Conduct a life review: Self-reflect and find peace with your journey thus far

"Happy older singles [have] the ability to look back and gain control over the circumstances that led to being single".

4. Celebrate and exercise the ability to make your own decisions

5. Revel in your solitude - produce your own "show" so to speak

6. Take responsibility for your own contentment

~View a long list of archived posts and episodes on cultivating true contentment or pick up my 2nd book - Living The Simply Luxurious Life

7. Distinguish between the myths regarding marriage and singlehood and reality

Myth versus reality:

"Young people fear being physically vulnerable in old age more than elders [actually] do".

"Fifty-seven percent of the eighteen-to-sixty-four-year old population anticipate memory loss in old age, while only 25 percent of those aged sixty-five and above actually experience it. Furthermore, while 42 percent expect serious illness in old age, only 21 percent of those aged sixty-five and above experience the same."

"While an expectation of loneliness arises among 29 percent of young people, only 17 percent experience loneliness in old age."

8. Foresee and prepare for potential emergencies

In other words, financial planning - engage with it early, often and regularly, craft a living will, construct your own "family" - .

9. Engage with your community for resources, connection and engagement

10. Learn how to socially engage as a singleton in a manner that makes you feel safe and fulfilled

11. Refrain from seeing marriage as a form of "self-validation".

In other words, seek validation from within, as society's values are limiting, dynamic and generalized.

~A post you might enjoy on this topic: First, Seek Self-Approval

12. Use your time being single as a time for self-growth and development - find the road to your truest self

~A post you might enjoy on this topic: Why Not . . . Live Alone for a While?

13. Maintain and strengthen your overall health - physical and mental

~An episode you might enjoy on this topic: The Six Pillars of Good Health, episode #212

14. If you are a pet person, welcome a pet into your life.

15. Confront the fears that are causing you to assume marriage is the answer to assuage them before you get married for the wrong reasons.

16. Simply be aware of the social stigmas, discrimination and pressures placed on singles.

Doing so will enable you to confront and effectively deal with situations when they arise in a productive way to potentially bring more awareness to the realities and discrimination that exists.

17. Have a positive self-image and self-perception of your life as someone who is single

Present yourself to the world, whether at work or in your personal life as the confident and happy person that you are - some who happens to be single - knowing that is not all that defines you. Gradually, images change when we put a face to the reality.

18. Build your self-confidence

Find work and hobbies in which you feel valued and accomplished - this could be in your career, in your hobbies or in your social network. Be willing to try new things, and as you see that you can learn, change, improve and grow, you begin to realize you hold more power to cultivate the life you love than you may have realized - thus your confidence grows.

~An episode you might enjoy on the topic: Confidence: How to Gain It & Why It's Invaluable, episode #5

19. Consciously avoid the social pressure and discrimination

In other words, your attention gives validation. And if you choose not speak up, what is said or done is deemed as acceptable. Whether it is the conversations you listen to or engage in, the people you spend time with, the films you pay to see, the music you listen to, etc., your time, money and attention are powerful - give it consciously.

20. Speak up and confront discrimination when it occurs

Often people aren't even aware of their bias regarding marriage being the "best" option. Construct a parallel question to those who ask "Why are you still single?" or "I'm still keeping an eye out for you." There are some great ones in the book. Make sure to keep the comment or question equal to what was received so that the speaker can see the error of their words and assumptions.

21. Seek a career or a calling that gives you purpose, in which you feel you are contributing something of value to the world.

22. Find a balance with work and leisure

23. Let your curiosities guide you to seek out educational opportunities for growth

24. Strengthen your three pillars of good health - physical, mental and financial

25. Acknowledge and cultivate manageable household responsibilites

26. Recognize that choosing and embracing being single is not out of weakness or selfishness, but of strength and awareness to connect often more consciously.

"As singles, we know more than anybody else that true independence is actually interdependence."

We liberate ourselves when we recognize there are many different ways to live well in our modern world. And even for those who do not fully or will never accept that there is more than one traditional way to live contentedly and contribute to society positively, as well as giving ourselves the opportunity to be self-actualized, when we model the reality rather than the myth, we encourage others to explore and reach their full potential as well. A more content world is a peaceful world.

If anyone is so fortunate to find a partner to enjoy life with should they wish to and be able to reach their fullest potential without feeling they are limited, confined or lonely in something they "should" be doing, what a magnificent awesome union. Losing such a person, no matter what our age would be heartbreaking, but we can only control and strengthen ourselves, and when we strengthen the muscle of self-reflection, acknowlegement of fears rather than a suppression, we set ourselves free to live well throughout the entirity of our life's journey.

The responsibility each of us has is to not place upon someone else's shoulders that which we are capable of doing ourselves. When we take on this responsibility of cultivating our own happiness and contentment, we will see more clearly what path we truly wish to travel, we will strengthen all of our relationships as we recognize we are interconnected in large and small ways, and we will give ourselves a deep breath of relief and excitement for the next step in our journey forward.


~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~Why Not . . . Be A Confident Single Woman?

~Single or Married: 20 Things To Do

~The Truths & Myths of the Independent, Single Woman, episode #94


Petit Plaisir:

~Daily Rituals: Women at Work by Mason Curry

Direct download: 254Singledom.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:46pm PDT

Today's post and episode is the penultimate episode/post before a new episode returns next Monday.

I want to thank you as readers and listeners for your patience as I had scheduled to take the entire month of April off in order to for the intense time of the school year that is the final weeks prior to AP testing for my juniors. I have never taken so much time off, and while it was scheduled (have a look at season 5's schedule here), it was new.

I certainly found myself coming up with a long list of ideas for upcoming podcast episodes, reading more than a handful of books and discovering Petit Plaisir I cannot wait to share, but it was odd being away from the microphone.

Thank you for understanding, and I cannot wait to share a new episode next Monday as TSLL's first annual British Week begins.

With that said, I wanted to share a listeners' top episode from the second season of the podcast as it speaks to something I am thoroughly immersing myself in, and have been since this last summer. Case in point, the image above. My home is becoming just that, more and more of a home, and a large part of the reason I love it so much is that is it smaller and thoughtfully tailored to the inhabitants (myself and my dogs and occasional guests) that spend time there.

This particular episode, episode #97, shares 11 ways to live small and simply, curating a signature sanctuary that we thoroughly enjoy returning to each and every night and waking up in every morning.

~Read the full show notes of Episode #97 here

I do hope you enjoy.

Direct download: 97ArchivedFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:12pm PDT

"Finding an ease with what you are thinking, feeling, the world as it is, not necessarily accepting it, but not resisting it. This is contentment." —Andy Puddicombe

The truth about contentment is that it is different than being happy. We cannot know what it feels like to be happy if we have not been sad, so therefore we cannot feel both simultaneously. The argument may be made that, feeling sad and happy at the same time is possible; that is the definition of a moment being bittersweet. But if you examine such an argument closely, that is why we give it another name - bittersweet - rather than happy or sad.

Contentment resides within each of us. It is not something that comes to us from an external source - someone loving us, success in our hobbies or careers, celebrating an awesome moment in the world around us. Sadness arrives conversely, when we have to say goodbye to someone who has brought much happiness into our lives, when we stumble or hit a road block in our careers or something tragic happens in the world.

But through each of these instances both happiness and sadness, we can be content. Indeed, it is true. We can be content during happy times (which may seem easy to do) and during sad times (which may seem impossible and contrary), but it is true in both instances to be content.

How?

Contentment is a state of understanding yourself. It is an awareness of your strengths, your capabilities, your understanding of how to navigate well in the world no matter what the circumstances. In other words, contentment is a skill that can be strengthened because you hold the keys, the muscles, to either strengthen or let atrophy.

At this point, you may be asking, how do I cultivate and build the strength of contentment. The good news is, it is has been a central topic of TSLL for years, and in fact is thoroughly examined in my new book Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Becoming Your Best Self. In the meantime, you can read and listen to posts and episodes from the archives that go into great detail about how contentment can be attained.

Most wonderfully, when contentment is achieved, our happy moments become grander and our sad moments more bearable. As well, upon understanding and welcoming true contentment into our lives we let go of false means of contentment that are really energy or resource zappers and teasers such as the desire for more and the feeling of lack (which is disquised as "want").

True contentment finds us in the now, not gazing at the future.

True contentment is a state of mindfulness. Meditation can play a helpful role in training the muscle that is our mind to be present, to not be overrun by our thoughts, and help us to engage fully in the moment without asking for more and simply savoring the now.

Truthfully, contentment is possible wherever and with whomever we are with, but initially it is not easy to build in particular moments until we grasp its gifts. Below are two instances when reaching a state of contentment can be difficult initially:

  • When we are by ourselves if we have never truly done so, and have depended upon others to create the excitement and pleasure of life.
  • When we are with others who are always looking for more or not appreciative of simply the moment, unable to see whatever goodness is available. (And there is always something good in every moment. Simply being alive to maneuver through a bad moment to the other side is something to celebrate.)

Contentment begins the moment we wake up, when we realize the little beautiful gifts around us - whether it is the peace and quiet of a safe home, the loved ones sleeping calmly or having our home to ourselves, seeing the soft snow fall to the ground, blanketing the yard and neighbood with a paintbrush of beauty, seeing the first light climb above the horizon, hearing the birds begin their business of hellos. But still, the events outside of us, each of the moments listed above, are not what bring you contentment.

What brings us contentment is being able to find, recognize and appreciate them. Because in that same moment, we can easily be noticing that we have woke up too early and wish desperately we could fall back asleep, observe the house that we wish we had cleaned up a bit more, bemoan the fact that our home is full and there is too much to do for others and not enough time to do for ourselves or bemoan the fact that we are waking up alone, or remembering that it is a day of the week that is full of tasks we are not thrilled to tend to, or wishing it wasn't snowing because we will have to drive in it, or lamenting that the sun up because we want a bit more sleep.

You see, it is all about our engagement with the world. Contentment comes from our choice of choosing to recognize the power we have each day to engage in such a way that will open the doors of opportunity to a positive energy.

Contentment doesn't guarantee seemingly much, but upon closer examination, it guarantees a much more fulfilling life that can be savored every single day of our lives. It makes sure that so long as we are in the situation, we will find the goodness, we will find the opportunity, we will make the day better simply by the attitude we bring to it. That energy has a direct effect on our overall well being, and if we are sharing the moment with others, it will have a positive effect on them as well whether they understand it initially or not.

Now, let's go back to those two above mentioned moments that initially are difficult in which to find contement: being by ourselves and being with others who haven't yet welcomed contentment into their lives.

Once you know who you are, you begin to savor days and moments to yourself because being alone doesn't mean you fear what you will find in your own company. In fact, you revel in it.

Spending time with people becomes a joy because you begin to realize the power of the type of people you surround yourself with. You are thoughtful about who you spend your time with, communicate clear boundaries and when you do not have a choice over who you spend your time with you steady yourself to limit the interactions. Listen to episode #92 in which I share The Elements of a Strong Social Well-Being and how to do each of these things when it comes to spending time with others.

The gift of contentment is priceless and it is also free. You don't have to buy one more thing (in fact, you may want to let go of some things), you simply need to understand how to focus on understanding how to cultivate contentment and let go of the pursuit of happiness.

Petit Plaisir

~Poketo

~Concept and Project Planners (many more colors), they sell the signature paperclips as well.

Direct download: 244Contentment.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00pm PDT